26/05/05 Swearing

The late great Rikki Fulton's wife, Kate, died recently. This brought to mind a thought about my Grandpa.
By all accounts Kate was a very nice person. However my Grandpa could never abide her.
In the 60s and 70s she worked as a continuity announcer for STV. It has to be said said that her screen persona was slightly smarmy. Physically, it was evident that she had an unusually small mouth.
My Grandpa used to describe her as "having a mooth like a hen's arsehole".
As a small child I used to find my Grandpa speaking like this hilarious. He very rarely swore, but when he did, it was invariably memorable.
I also remember an occasion when the toilet at my Grandparents house became blocked.
My Grandpa's technical analysis of the situation was "we've got a 3 inch pipe, but someone has a 4 inch arsehole". Again, this sent me into convulsions.
It's odd how swearing has lost most of its ability to shock these days.
I caught a bit of the Gordon Ramsay "Kitchen Nightmares" show this week. It starts at 9pm, and is hour long avalanche of fuck this and fuck that and fuck the next thing. I don't find it shocking or offensive. But it's fair comment to say that the law of diminishing returns comes into play in terms of the use of swearing to spice up a show. Jamie Oliver has got quite a nifty line in prodigious swearing as well.
Anyway, fuck this, I have to fuckin fuck off to fuckin Glasgow to meet the fuckers I'm fuckin doing this fuckin funny as fuck Fringe show with, to fuckin discuss what the fuck it's going to be fuckin all about. Fuck!
(who said that television doesn't influence behaviour?)