19/05/05 Up For The Cup

Do you enjoy terrible pun-based jokes?
Here are some prime examples!
http://www.ogmac.co.uk/sidcup/standup.htm
Beware, if you don't like football, this edition will be very, very dull and boring (so what else is new?)
Hey it's the FA Cup Final tomorrow live on telly!
When I was a kid, seeing "live" football on TV was as rare an experience as seeing Martin Evans buy a round. (I'm obviously exaggerating here for comic effect. Martin Evans never buys a round. Hee Hee. I am funny).
But seriously, there were two matches shown a year live. The European Cup Final and the annual, sadly defunct, Home International match between Scotland and England.
These matches, the latter especially, were big occasions. Venues were arranged weeks in advance, invitations issued, armchairs reserved. It was inconceivable that any other commitment could interfere with your ability to watch the 180 minutes (or 210 minutes if the European Cup went to extra time. A fantastic bonus!) of live football on show that calendar year.
Both matches were shown in May. When the team captain held aloft the European Cup, you realised it would be more or less another 12 months before we'd see any more live football. We solemnly packed away our flat caps and rattles for another year.
Gradually, things loosened up in England. Contract negotiations with the FA saw TV execs demanding more live matches, and this was reluctantly granted.
However in Scotland we still saw nought. This was due to the powers that be at the Scottish Football Association decreeing that live football could not be shown in Scotland if it co-incided with any senior representative football match.
This gave rise to situations where a low level match like Forfar Athletic v Brechin
(expected crowd ; 100), blocked the rest of the nation enjoying live football screened in the rest of the UK.
"Except for viewers in Scotland" became the most loathed phrase heard on TV. Whilst the rest of the nation watched an exciting FA Cup Semi-Final replay, we were treated to a documentary on the development of the Locomotive steam engine.
Ernie Walker and Jim Farry were the humour-free tyrants who ruled at the SFA. They fretted that live coverage would kill football.
Funnily enough, we are now in the age of wall-to-wall coverage of live football and the game has never been more popular.
See I told you it was going to be dull and boring, didn't I?