14/05/05 Tourettes & Pizza

I was shocked to discover that the dress code for The Edinburgh Samba School's gig had been changed from maroon trousers to white trousers. This was an agonisingly late decision, and threw my preparations into complete turmoil. I didn't have white trousers and ended up compromising wearing light canvas trousers.
However this compromise was greeted with scorn and ridicule by the assembled samba players. I should have stayed with maroon, as a couple of other "free spirits" had turned up in maroon in spite of the issued advice from the samba high command.
This may seem a trivial matter to the discerning blog reader. You'd be mistaken. Wars have begun, people have died over this issue.
Anyway, I was making a rare appearance by playing with them to mark the opening of a new branch of "Papa John's Pizza". We were getting good money for this as well as being able to eat an unlimited amount of the said pizza.
I tinkled away of a selection of hand instruments and bantered cheerily with the passing members of the great British public. Unfortunately we had to play in the shade and were denied a clear sunbathing opportunity.
We did have one complaint from a grumpy elderly lady who lived nearby. We were instructed to move round the corner, and as she walked away she turned and gave us a pithy parting shot..."That's not even music, anyway!" Ouch!
Having consumed a few pints that eveing in the Cambridge Bar, I was alarmed to hear another reported occurrence of my "Nocturnal Tourettes Syndrome".
This first came to light at Mitch's New Year Party when I crashed out on his settee. Apparently I was scaring the children by shouting loudly "F**** Off You C**t", and other such cheery homilies, as I slept. Weird.
I was at it again on Saturday night, allegedly sounding like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist"! I'm honestly bemused as to why I've started doing this, and will perhaps engage the services of a doctor specialising in "advanced loonies".
If I'd been doing this 300 years ago, I would by now have likely become a human flame grilled burger (in a very public setting).