Wednesday, July 13, 2005

12/07/05 Bordering On The Ridiculous

Myself and nerdy Physics lecturer Martin Evans went for a walk in the Ettrick Hills near Selkirk in the Scottish Borders area.
I bought a book 5 years ago called "100 Walks Around Edinburgh". I thought it was about time I did at least one of them to avoid the purchase of the said book as being viewed as a complete fiasco.
I selected the walk we did because it was described as a "dramatic ridge walk". In the end it turned out to be as dramatic as an episode of "Last Of The Summer Wine". It was still very pleasant though, if a little dull. And it was another scorcheroonee of a day.
I got offered a gig at The Stand next Wednesday (20th July). This means that the "Festival of Jim" now extends to Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun/Wed of the coming week live at The Stand in Edinburgh.
The bar staff will be well and truly sick of my set by the end of this run, as will the audience in all likelihood. I hope different people go to each night otherwise my act will turn into a Catholic Mass type event, with the punters wearily joining in with the punchlines (irony), and standing up and sitting down at the appropriate moments and shaking hands with the people next to them sort of thing.
I had a samba practice at night for the upcoming Spain trip. I played with my head up my ass. Not literally. That would have been quite an impressive feat of contortionism and might have deflected any other criticisms. No, I just kept making rather stupid mistakes. I will have to spend some quality time working on being slightly less crappy. Just like anything else really.
My drive down to the Borders was soured by a succession of locals who didn't wave at me when I stopped and waited patiently to let them pass before moving out to avoid a parked car on my side of the road.
I am a stickler for this waving ritual, and see it as one of the last remaining benchmarks of decency and a feeling of community in the inherent tetchiness of 21st Century life.
Once we stop this little wave ritual, it will be a steady descent into mayhem and aggression, and we will all be in a "Mad Max" movie, and people will be dropping snakes in our cars from weird home-made helicopter things.
Mark my words.

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