My namesake
Apart from my surname routinely being misheard as "Clark" by countless customer service representatives, it is also noted for being among the most popular names in Korea, (North and South, I believe).
I'm often tempted to go to Korea and cash in on my surname's Korean celebrity. I'd imagine I'd be able to get lots of discounts and would effortlessly engage in endless banter on my family origins. Perhaps they might see me as the returning "Father of the Nation" and treat me as a messiah type figure, showering upon me undreamt of wealth and riches. Although, in fairness I do dream quite a lot of wealth and riches, so it would have to be an astronomical sum we're talking about here, before I would categorically state that it was "undreamt of" on a purely personal level.
The downside of all this would be that inevitably someone would see me as a phoney, a fraud and a threat to the national fabric of the Korean people, and I would likely end up being assassinated by a lone gunman working with others, (JFK satire).
Coincidentally, Manchester United have just signed a Mr Park from Korea.
What makes this even more exciting is that his initials are "J S".
On the back of his shirt will be emblazoned "J S Park". By an incredible co-incidence, my name (including initials) is "J S Park".
I'll now be able to get my own personalised Manchester United replica top with my own name on the back. And of course, I can deflect accusations of pomposity by pointing out correctly that it is the name of a current Manchester United player, and does not represent a(nother) pathetic case of self-aggrandisment.
This'll be great. When I score my trademark quality goals, I can run off and point my thumbs behind my back, just like the pros do, to draw attention to my name.
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