"A pointless, unfunny pun a day keeps the doctor away", as my late Auntie Trixie was wont to say...
I heard the stunning news today that Dave Reilly has sensationally remounced 16 years of vegetarianism, and has re-embraced the carnivore lifestyle.
Alf Hardcastle, President of the "British Beef Foundation" is quoted as saying,
"This is the biggest boost the meat industry has had in the past 30 years!"...
Industry sources believe that after the ravages of Foot and Mouth, BSE and Dave Reilly giving up meat in 1989, their profitability will now soar.
Plans are already afoot to open a massive new Stakis Steakhouse in Corstorphine to cope with the anticipated increase in demand.
Slaughterhouses are gearing themselves up for a surge in demand equivalent to pre-Xmas turkey sales.
"David Bann's Vegetarian Restaurant" is rumoured to be considering opening a humane in-house organic slaughter chamber for unwell animals, in a desperate attempt to reduce predicted losses.
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