13/04/2007 It's The End Of The Week (as we know it)

God, I am pissed off..!!!!!!!



The thing is, if you're in an orchestra you sometimes have to blow your own trumpet...
Currently gutted that despite a string of fantastic gigs, the gigs cupboard is sadly bare and the bounce I'd been hoping for on the back of them hasn't happened...
Maybe I should try writing instead...I just can't seem to make any headway on the Scottish circuit...

But hey, enough of this navel contemplation...
I had an idea for a comedy film...
There's hilarious consequences when a lion forgets where it has hid its latest zebra kill ; just before the mother-in-law is due to pop round for tea...!
There's some laughing hyenas who have their own ideas about who's eating what...!

working title ; "Carry On Carrion!"

I was also thinking to myself how big some things used to be 25 years ago...
For example mobile phones were the size of a household brick...a calculator was about the same size...mars bars were about a foot long...with one inch thick chocolate all around it...video cameras were so enormous, you had to have a fairly impressive level of physical fitness to be able to walk any distance carrying them.
Fast forward (clever little link there) to today, and all these things are incredibly tiny now...
Ironically, it is humans themselves who have got much bigger...
Well, this is the case, according to obesity studies...
So if you were transported quickly back 25 years ago and saw a normal built man making a mobile phone call while doing some basic calculations on his calculator...then zapped back to see a big obese man in 2007 doing the same thing...you'd think he'd been miraculously transformed into a big fat giant 15 feet tall with hands the size of rhubarb leaves...
Thankfully, scientists have isolated an obese gene...
It could be embarassing though if you are morbidly obese and find out that you don't have the obese gene, and are subsequently labelled as just a greedy bastard with no excuses...
I wonder if they will one day find an Annoying Twat Gene...
I met a few people today who may be carriers, and I would feel more sympathetic to their plight if I became aware that there was a hereditary factor involved.

I also had this thought that comedians who are dying on stage could utilise the help of "Assisted Suicide Officers" to supply them with even weaker material to hasten their end...