Sunday, April 01, 2007

01/04/2007 Dancing With Tears In My Trousers



A while ago I announced that I had retired from dancing in public, however on Friday I broke my embargo and found myself strutting around the dancefloor of The Citrus Club like there was no tomorrow.
In fact there was a tomorrow, which was Saturday which definitely did happen yesterday (I was there).
I had gotten fairly pissed with some people that I used to work with who were celebrating their meaty bonuses through the medium of drink.
They don't work in a Slaughterhouse though...it's an Insurance Company, but yes, you say...what's the difference?
And I would say one kills animals and the other offers financial services, primarily life insurance and pensions...
So they are different as such...
It's fair to say that my interpretation of "Don't You Want Me Baby" by the Human League achieved my biggest comedy laughs of the week from the surrounding onlookers...
I went for a "Pan's People" choreographic approach in terms of very literally interpreting the lyrics about waitresses in cocktail bars and having the world at your feet and all that.
I also smoked a single cigarette...
And have been forced to confess by bullying loudmouth Paul Dance that I smoked 4 cigarettes at a recent party at which we were both in attendance.
(he has threatened to bombard my site with comments calling me a lying toerag in terms of my alleged nicotine avoidance performance)
I definitely haven't had a "sober" cigarette in 2007 though...
so that's alright then isn't it?
Well, no it isn't alright at all...
I've let you all down and worst of all I've let myself down
I went throught the traditional "never again" mantra for much of yesterday...
Much as I enjoy getting tanked up and parading like an idiot on dancefloors of an evening, I hate in effect losing the next day...
I wasn't ill...I was just tired and lazy...I'd call it a 24 hour persistent vegetative state...and I did bugger all of any usefulness...
I just watched a tired old listing thing about "comedians' comedians" which I'd seen already on the Saturday night after spending much of the day in a comatose condition...
Currently toying with the idea of having a "dry" April...

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