It's time to start running again...
My normal route has been clogged up with all the New Year Resolution idiots trying to get fit in 2013.
Thankfully, most of them seem to have given up now, and it's once again time for the proper athletes to take to the streets.
I expect the regret they're experiencing, in terms of their failure to maintain their new fitness regime, has led them to break their vow not to drink alcohol in January.
Before they know it, they'll be back on the drugs again.
It's a slippery slope.
I consciously increased my alcohol intake in the first 2 weeks of 2013,mainly to annoy my friends who are on the wagon, but am now reining it in a bit, and have decided not to drink at home.
I found a loophole though, in which I can stand in my back garden and drink a can of cider during advert breaks on the television.
But I've decided that's just stupid.
Other change is that I have retired from gambling and have shut down my Betfair account permanently.
I was actually doing pretty good overall, but I'm just really fed up watching shit football matches.
The problem is that I make a rule of only betting on football matches which are live on TV and which I can monitor continuously.
I do this as I like to continuously adjust my betting position throughout the match.
ie immediately lay off the stake I've bet on a team to win the match, if they go into the lead, and always bet on a draw if there is only one goal in it with 10 minutes to go.
I find this is the only way I can make a decent profit in the long term.
The past few months have been really good, and I reckon I have just about made enough to cover a trip to Mayrhofen for some snowboarding and comedy festivalising in March.
But in spite of this, I've had enough.
It's too many hours sitting watching too much rubbish.
The straws that broke the camel's back were probably the last two Hibs/Hearts encounters (the fact I backed Hearts in both matches to win didn't help).
I've never seen such awful, turgid excuses for football matches, totally devoid of skill.
I experienced something of an epiphany and decided that life is too short to carry on watching this type of stuff.
(There were other clunkers, but these two matches really stood out for all the wrong reasons)
So it's goodbye Virgin Media and SkySports, and it's hello Freeview.
Interestingly I get the Glasgow version of "Scotland Today" even though I live in Edinburgh.
Has Freeview worked out that as I am Glaswegian by birth, I should watch the local news from there rather than from my adopted city?
There was always a thought at the back of my head that this wasn't the most honourable way to supplement my income anyway.
What would my ancestors have thought?
Not a lot.
(btw I'm not related to Paul Daniels)
I'm still obviously affected by "parental approval" issues.
I want to do some good...to make a difference...to have more in common with George Bailey than Mr Potter, if you catch my drift.
I want to lassoo the moon!
But more importantly, I wrote a few new jokes and they all worked pretty well.
So THAT"S good.
And, yes Lance Armstrong was wrong, but I still regard him as an incredible athlete, who would probably have still won all his titles if everyone was "clean".