Sunday, October 14, 2007

14/10/08 Belief










...and James McFadden's goals!






I had a large chaotic barbecue yesterday to tie in with the crucial Scotland v The Ukraine match (I like the use of the definite article in country names...I think "The Scotland" would sound impressive...quite intimidating as well, indicating we are not a nation to be trifled with...(My Latin teacher at school, the legendary Miss Urquhart would repeatedly shriek at me "Jim Park! Stop trifling!"...ah, happy days!)
Another fantastic result, although I feel that the overall lacklustre performance is being glossed over somewhat.
There were extended periods of the game where we seemed completely incapable of retaining possession for more than 5 seconds.
It was stressful viewing, although not as bad as I had anticipated.
Everybody was able to relax when McFadden slammed the third goal in...
What a sublime first touch!
I managed to traumatise my 1 year old niece Kitty at this moment.
She was playing quietly beside me and was shocked to see me jump up in the air and shout "Get In There!" at the top of my voice.
She burst into tears and took 15 minutes to recover from her Uncle's inexplicable behaviour.
My friend Pete deigned to join us for the evening viewing of the France v England rugby match (obviously not one of my most productive days)...
Just as "God Save The Queen" was being lustily sung by the English team, Pete somehow managed to knock over a couple of folded chairs...they in turn caused a large hi-fi speaker to overturn, it crashed into a large standard lamp, knocking it over, and smashing the ornate glass lamp into pieces on the fireplace, and then caused speaker number 2 to fall over clunking over my newly opened bottle of beer and knocking a cup full of tea over onto the carpet.
The first 15 minutes of the match were spent clearing up the debris from this catastrophic natural disaster, (yes, I do mean you, Pete)
It was a good game, but with too much aimless kicking, and England probably just deserved to win.
England in the final. who would have predicted that?
At the end of the evening a disappointed French friend of mine noticed I had a box of fresh figs.
She said that a good fig should have the same physical characteristics in terms of size and texture, as a man's testicle...
I had to concede that there is indeed more than a slight similarity.
She said that in France, a fresh fig has great erotic connotations...there's the testicle thing, and there's also the fact that when you open it up, it does look uncannily like a vagina.
Anyway, I found all this very interesting, and I will never be able to look at a fresh fig in quite the same way ever again.
I've just ordered Dave's new album (aka Cloudland Blue Quartet)
You can get it here http://crispycat-recordings.blogspot.com/
Let's all buy it and get Dave into the charts...
If you live in the West of Edinburgh you might remember Dave as a former gang leader.
(he was a founding member of "The Corstorphine Massive")
I'm sure you'll all be relieved to hear that Northern Rock shares have made an extraordinary recovery in the past week and are almost back to what I paid for them.
But will I sell?
Of course not...let the reckless gambling stupidity continue!
I enjoy the roller-coaster excitement of it all.
It makes me feel more relaxed when I watch Scotland play football...Let's please beat Georgia on Wednesday as I dread going into a match having to beat Italy.
They are the world masters of closing down a game in which they only need a draw.

When the Rezillos finished last week we were told we had to leave promptly as a club was about to start in the same venue.
As the ragtag army of aged Rezillos fans shuffled out of the venue, a queue of fresh faced, attractive 18-21 year olds waited to get in.
I thought to myself that this was life in microcosm...
It might have been appropriate if the Rezillos audience were zapped in the head by a stun gun as they passed through the fake "exit" door, thus beginning the process where they would be transformed into tins of "Chappie" dog food, on the basis that this would be the only valuable contribution they would be deemed capable of, in terms of benefit to society.
I'm only joking of course.

2 comments:

Cloudland Blue Quartet said...

Aimless kicking eh? Apart from Pete that is...

Thanks for the plug Jim..

The Corstorphine Massive indeed...

jimbo said...

I figured I'd earned enough points, by buying and plugging your album, to make a cheeky quip....
it's called "offsetting" in the trade