Sunday, December 18, 2005

17/12/05 Robert Hind is 40 Shock!





















My "Cockburn St" anecdote raises a few chuckles, as the "Kenneth More" disguise impresses more than a few!






John Eglin has them rolling in the aisles with his "Robert and the Sleeping Bag" story!



Mitch is the MC with the mostest as he keeps things ticking along nicely...


I was down in London this weekend to attend top London photographer Robert Hind's 40th Birthday Bash. He's the younger brother of Nicky Hind, esteemed Comedy Consultant and Web Design Guru.
I felt the immortal words of WH Auden might lend themselves perfectly to this suspicious event...

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Shout "Robert is 40!" tum teh tum tum

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought he was only 39: I was wrong
."

There was a 1940s theme, with authentic dress encouraged. I sported a tweed jacket, neckerchief look, based on an acclaimed British actor of this vintage, the one and only "Kenneth More Esq".
Probably his most famous film is "Reach For The Sky", a bio-pic of Sir Douglas Bader, the "Battle of Britain" veteran who lost both legs in a crash, but continued to fly combat missions.
Basing myself at Douglas Carnall's baronnial Hackney residence, I did feel slightly awkward walking through some fairly rough areas of Hackney looking like a posh presenter from "The Antiques Roadshow".
I really got into character ,particularly during "Lindy Hop" dance lessons, giving an authentic impression of having just been fitted with a pair of artificial legs.
A surprise attendee was Mr Gary Keltie, who had travelled from Australia to be at the party. I hadn't seem him in 16 years, and he looked annoyingly unwithered by age. He has obviously been experiencing a very sheltered existence, and has been fighting a losing battle against moisturiser addiction. Tragic.

Robert was looking suitably dapper with an RAF uniform on, although Douglas did later remark that he thought Robert "Bomber" Hind should have "demilitarised" his uniform to a greater extent, as it still had all the relevant badges on it.
I suspect the costume hirers might not have appreciated this happening though.
I have to say that all the girls were looking rather foxy in their 40s dresses.
There was shepherds pie and trifle, and the wine flowed freely.
A few of us had been drafted in to say a few words. It was the remit of John and I to take the mick, which I hope we satisfactorally achieved, by dredging up some hoary old anecdotes about the man himself. It was then left to Steve, Mitch and Will to deliver more fulsome tributes.
I got heckled by Robert! You couldn't make it up! Well, I never!

I had meant to read out a "telegram" sent in by Mr Dave Reilly, but tragically I lost the sheet of paper at some point before my speech...!
But here's the text anyway ;

"Dear Robert,
I don't know if you'll remember me or not. I first encountered you at the fair in South Queensferry in the summer of 1979 when you were but a spotty, 13 year old schoolboy. I'll never forget your first words to me.
"You're going bald" you said.
Today, I'd like to congratulate you on reaching your 40th birthday with the greeting, "What goes around comes around, hopefully".
Happy Birthday, Robert
David Reilly"

Touchin', huh?

btw check this fainting goat link . It's fascinating stuff!

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