The glasses aren't fooling anyone Annabel. We know it's you...!
I'm not a Tory myself, but I thought the Scottish Conservatives might have done better in the Scottish Parliamentary Elections if their leader, Annabel Goldie,hadn't combined the leadership job with managing the English football club Sheffield United.
I think the strains of managing both portfolios have caused her to take her eye off the ball, so to speak.
I did feel like bursting into a spontaneous round of applause when I saw The Sun's headline of "Nats Chuffed!" on the day after the election.
That is beautiful....
In spite of being a traditional Labour voter I was delighted to see Labour lose their majority on Edinburgh District Council.
Their tenure has been characterised by a singular lack of vision.
They've been a gutless bunch.... shit scared to do anything slightly radical.
The problem with Labour politicians in Scotland is that they do think they have a god given right to hold office and as a result they're complacent and lacking dynamism.
The main annoyances I have with them is the colossal cock-up of the way they conducted the congestion charge referendum...what an expensive farce...!
(I'm in favour of it...Edinburgh city centre could be an amazing place without this gridlock shite which is getting steadily worse)
Their token commitment to providing cycle lanes...(you have to have something of a death wish to use some of these "lanes" ; paricularly on Morrison St and Maitland Street when you find yourself stuck in a little gap between two double decker buses)
How difficult it is to recycle in the city centre...
The way they systematically let Meadowbank crumble over the years, then announce it's closure, then panic and backtrack just before the election because they shat themselves about the vote losing potential of this act...
They also give a criminal lack of support to the people who organise the Edinburgh Festival and Fringe...
I'd like to see something done on litter as well...what a shithole the place looks at the moment...
(hey I'm definitely turning into "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells")
I was at Sainsbury's today (oh yes)...
I always find the moment at the checkout when I traditionally have difficulty prising apart the plastic bags, to be a very high anxiety experience.
There is that intense pressure to get the bags open, stick in your purchases, clear the area then move away before the next customer is ready to commence the same procedure.
The nightmare scenario of glancing up and seeing the next person rolling their eyes at your pathetic, unco-ordinated efforts to bag up and go is awful.
I was thinking that the awkwardness of this situation is similar to that moment in a lurv making context when Mr Condom makes an appearance centrestage.
The ideal scenario is for the condom packet to be opened and be seamlessly introduced to the action with no significant pause...
However, an awkward condom packaging can totally ruin the spontaneity of the experience, and therefore the opening is subject to the same pressure and stress that occurs in a checkout queue.
I was actually in Sainsburys a couple of weeks ago and got the two procedures completely mixed up.
I'm in court next month.
It was an easy mistake to make though, and hopefully Donald Findlay QC can get me off...
1 comment:
Very funny BLOG and spot on as usual. Keep up the good work.
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Newspaper Headline:
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"Cellophane tear in cucumber quickly nipped in the bud by condom man in Sainsbury's"
Findlay's face slowly turned from a frown to a smile, he liked it, he liked it a lot.
"I'll show these bastards. Do they think I, Sash singing, King Hun, pipe loving QC to the Scottish cognoscente will ever surrender?"
2 big public defeats in a row had left there marks for sure, but as soon as that familier chorus had filtered into his ears, the pain ebbed away. He looked himself up in the full length mirror. A soft step to the left a shuffle to the right.
"A real man wears the kit, the gunbelts." He opined
No siree, not for him (like some namby pamby faggot TV) were holdups, what with those bloody elastic tops. The words DVT and Long Haul flight to Sinagpore sprang to mind.
The shoulder length blonde wig complimented his choice of outfit perfectly.
"Simply the best, better than all the rest" He was in QC (or should that be TV) heaven.
When the music had ended his thoughts again turned to the case.
"Luke "the fucking Devil child" Mitchell? Anthony fucking Tobbin?" his clenched fist slammed down onto the table.
"Condom man will be the saving of me, Condom man will be the saving of me"
BigBallsBarabbus
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