I'd like to extend a heartfelt thanks to all of you who emailed to inform me that I had indeed got my last bet (Bolton beating Middlesboro) completely wrong.
It's kind of you all to point this out, as I wasn't sure I had in fact lost all my money.
Now I realise I have.
Bastards...!
Where's the "congratulations" messages to coincide with my (invarably) winning bets?
I'm hoping to replace Alan Hansen for the BBC's World Cup coverage.
I've written to the BBC explaining how I am capable of exclaiming "Unbelievable!" in a rough Scottish accent every time I'm asked to comment on any footballing occurrence.
I also went on to say I'd do it for half the money.
I could also double-up to replace Mark Laurenson as I have a large supply of crap jokes which I could practise delivering in a camp Widow Twanky "pantomime dame" style ; just like Mark does.
Surely this represents good value for the TV license payer.
I'm sure I could also come up with some funny jokes to say to Gary Lineker about his brother currently being in jail for embezzlement.
His brother used to run bars in Spain. There's therefore undoubtedly a host of hilarious quips I could make about his brother used to being "behind bars" and stuff like that.
I can just see ian Wright falling off his seat with tears of laughter running down his cheeks.
I like Sven's squad announcement today.
It's like seeing a pillar of the community Church Minister shouting "I'm Fucking bored!", run into a casino, stop at the roulette table and place the title deeds to the Manse and all the Church's money on RED....
then growling..."Spin it ya bastard!" in a rough Scottish accent.
Good luck to him...!
People seem to forget that Pele, the world's second best player of all time (Maradona was the best, don't argue about it...), was 17 when he scored a hat-trick in the World Cup Final against Sweden.
I've got a sneaking feeling that Walcott is going to be a sensation.
2 comments:
Are you going to put money on it?
no
Post a Comment