It's a rollercoaster of excitement in the Dott-Ebdon World Snooker Final!
So anyway, I did indeed manage to blag a ticket for Hearts v Celtic yesterday.
I bought a ticket off a man in the street. It was a child's ticket for the Family Enclosure. I risked being refused entry, but luckily my youthful demeanor convinced the turnstile operator that I was indeed under 14 and he let me in.
The only other feasible explanantion is that he couldn't be arsed with the hassle of questioning my vintage. This is unlikely though, as turnstile operators are universally acknowledged as dedicated workers who are honest as the day is long and all that.
I was in the front row which was quite exciting.
The Family Enclosure seemed a rather saner environment than other parts of the ground I've been in.
People seemed relaxed and in good humour, and I couldn't spot any obvious psychopaths in my vicinity. I was surrounded by the happy faces of young children enjoying the game.
Then there was a rather dubious throw-in decision by the linesman.
An adult immediately behind me stood up and shouted "Linesman! Are you blind you fat cunt?"
Ok, on one level it's funny, but I was enjoying being in a "heid-the-baw free" environment. It couldn't last. I am so naive...so naive....
A fantastic example to 6 year old kids!
But it was a rollicking entertaining game, and I enjoyed attending a football match for the first time in ages.
Hearts gubbed Celtic 3-0. I won my bet. Unfortunately, the result was very bad for Rangers, and it's odds on that Hearts will get that second place Champions League spot.
Hearts do have an unrivalled capacity for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory though...so I wouldn't say it's done and dusted until Charlotte Church has sung.
Outside the ground I was giggling at a chubby middle-aged Hearts fan with an extremely tacky "Print-Ur-Own" T-Shirt which stated that "Hibees Are Gay!".
It just goes to show that attitudes are still a bit primitive in certain quarters.
I mean, it's one thing to be thinking like that, but it's the further step to actually get T-shirts printed that really takes the biscuit.
Hopefully one day they might put "not that there's anything wrong with that..." in brackets after "Hibees Are Gay!".
The inference is obviously that "Hearts are Heterosexual!".
This is all well and good but will it help them in their quest for 2nd place and qualification for the Champions League?
It's really difficult to get a chant that scans well...
"We're all agreed...Hearts are hetero-sex-ual"
Anyway, "Jam Tarts" as a nickname, is a little effeminate isn't it?
It's not exactly got the macho resonance of "Mince Pies" or "Pork Scratchings".
No comments:
Post a Comment