I think this award should go to the guy in the audience at The Stand last night who was helping out the very funny comedy/magician Steven Dick with a trick.
It was the old write-your-name-on-a-tenner and give it to me; I'll then fold it up and I'll give you a kiwi fruit as a fair swap.
Then at the end of the show, the audience member is invited onto the stage.
He gives Steven back the kiwi fruit, then Steven cuts the fruit open and miraculously the tenner (with the written name) is inside the fruit.
Now I don't know exactly how this impressive trick is done ; but what is obvious to a keen amateur magician is that the kiwi fruit is switched at the last moment.
In this instance, the moron bit the kiwi fruit in half before giving it back to Mr Dick...
And he looked SO fooking pleased with himself....
In spite of this I had a pretty good gig at the show, and I think am beginning to get back in my stride after a long layoff.
I got a bit mental at one point though and had a slight saliva projectile problem,
(I did take the time to apologise to the front row though...can't say fairer than that really)
I was going to go to Meadowbank Sports Centre on Monday for a bit of a workout but found that the centre was closed.
I always find it a bit odd that "Leisure Centres" are always closed on days when people have a large amount of leisure time available to indulge in.
It's like going to a restaurant and seeing a sign saying "Closed For Lunch".
Gambling has been getting a bit of a bad press recently, what with Wayne Rooney and his £700 000 alleged debt and all that...
So it's probably a good time for me to introduce my "Jim - What a Punt!" current betting tips...
I've not been doing much lately, but I figure if I document the bets on the Blog, there's less chance of me making totally idiotic bets and geting all Rooney-ish in my gambling success....
Anyway, here's todays bets ;
£100 on Nigel Bond to beat Stephen Hendry (placed with Bond 6-3 in the lead) EVEN money
£100 on Ronnie O'Sullivan to win the title 2/1 against
I figure Ronnie could win the title with a cue stuck up his arse as long as he keeps his head together...
My UK Coal shares are doing well, (coal is going to have a comeback, people don't want nuclear, but they also don't want the whole country covered in wind farms either) but this just balances out a stock meltdown with NHS IT suppliers Isoft last week.
