Whilst Scottish swimmers, cyclists and bowlers did very well at the Commonwealth Games, our athletes were overwhelmingly rubbish.
I read a shocking article in the newspaper last week in which it was intimated that the Scottish runners in the 1970 Commonwealth Games (held in Edinburgh) would beat the current Scottish team.
That's unbelievable. A lot of that squad must be well over 60 by now!
Surely there has to be an independent inquiry into how things got to this sorry state of affairs.
Too much time playing computer games, listening to pop music and smoking Class C drugs is obviously taking its toll amongst the nation's disaffected youth.
I was driving though town today listening to commentary of the Hearts v Hibs Scottish Cup semi-final.
Hearts took the lead in 28 minutes.
5 minutes later I was driving down Morrison Street and passed the trendy, exclusive nightspot "Diane's Pool Bar".
A police van drew up abruptly outside and 8 officers hurriedly piled into the bar.
Obviously the goal had sparked off a bout of silly behaviour amongst the watching fans...!
I suspect that it is going to be a tough day to be a policemen on duty in Edinburgh.
The match ended up in the nightmare scenario from a police point of view.
A draw would have seen the day pass off reasonably peacefully, and the replay would be in Edinburgh.
However, Hibs were humiliatingly cuffed 4-0 and had two players sent off.
I wouldn't like to be on the trains coming back from Glasgow after the game.
A compelling cocktail of pissed up triumphalism alongside pissed up wounded pride.
A recipe for disaster....!
It was a chronically stupid idea to play the match in Glasgow anyway.
Edinburgh will be like a bad day in Baghdad tonight methinks.
I watched the second half in Riery's Bar in Haymarket.
I'm loving this smoke free regime.
It really is nice to spend a bit of time in a bar without coming out stinking of fags.
I have to warn the public though that I will be forced to punch in the face the next person I hear saying, "What are they going to do next? Ban drinking in pubs?" (then laugh uproariously at their display of wit).
Just realise that you're about the millionth person this week in Scotland to have made this rather weak joke. Move on. Think of a new angle.
No, not the one about smelling peoples' farts and the pong of disinfectant! Something else...something new...
How about 50ft fags? Aw, that's been done already as well, hasn't it?
