21/01/06 Getting Shirty

When I was working down Stockbridge way, I had something of a morning routine.
I stopped off at "Starbucks" on my way to San Quentin.
Me : "Could I have a slice of Lemon Drizzle Cake please"
Customer Service Assistant : Certainly sir, and can I get you a hot drink as well?
Me: No, thank you...
This exact conversation was repeated 3 times a week for 4 months (I didn't have cake every day. I'm disciplined. I'm not a glutton.)
Anyway, on my last day, I couldn't resist the lure of sarcasm...and instead of "No, thank you", came back with "Oh, I see, do you sell hot drinks here as well?".
"Are you being funny?"
"eh...Yes!"
"Do you want a hot drink or not?
"No, I don't. You see if I wanted a hot drink I'd just ask for one. I realise when I come into "Starbucks" that coffee is available. I just find it a bit odd that you feel you have to ask me whether I want a drink or not..."
At this, I was brusquely given my change, and the assistant moved on to the next customer...
I certainly showed them, didn't I?
It just seems daft to me. Usually you try the supplementary selling technique for something not too obviously available...
If you're buying shoes, you may well be interested in buying some aerosol leather protector, and welcome the sales assistants' recommendation of the aforementioned product. You might not have previously thought of buying this item.
Similarly, if you're having your hair cut in a Barbers, the offer of "something for the weekend, sir" is a useful service.
I don't expect to get a hot drink sales pitch it when I go into a shop which obviously specialises in hot drinks.
I mean, it's blatantly obvious I don't want a hot drink.
I just want to have my cake and eat it.
I get free tea at work from the machine.
I don't want to pay £2.50 for a cup of milky, weak shite.
I can get that for nothing out of the machine.
I was on a roll, and before I knew it I was complaining to the assistant at "Victoria Wines" about the price of their wine.
They've got this "offer" on all their stock at the moment in that if you buy 2 bottles of wine you get a third free.
Of course this effectively means that if you just want one bottle of wine you are completely shafted with a rip-off price.
I'm sure this policy will go a long way in terms of alleviating Scotland's rampant excessive drinking problem.
One bottle of wine? Don't be stupid. Buy 3!!! You know it makes sense!
Livers? who needs them?
The assistant groaned "You can't please everybody..."
I've decided to no longer offer my patronage to "Victoria Wines".
I just ordered 50 bottles of wine from the "Sunday Times" wine club.
This is a slight change of tack from my championing of the single bottle purchase. However, i could have bought a reasonable priced single bottle of wine if I'd wanted to.
And, don't think that just because I will have a massive supply of wine in my flat, that my intake will no doubt increase.
That argument carries no weight as far as I am concerned.
And, by the way...Graeme Souness! Can you hear me..? Go Now!!!! It's over!!!
Show a semblance of dignity and allow me to pick up my cash....
He's shamelessly hanging on for his compensation money for being sacked. If he had any conscience he's walk away, realising that he has made a complete and utter c**t of the job!