15/12/07 Jingle Jingle

The Black Bo's comedy night seems to be gaining a bit of momentum.
It was packed out last week...a very enjoyable evening!
I was compering, and I have to say in all objectivity, I wasn't too bad.
In fact, without getting too carried away, rather than my usual 3/10 marks for compering skills, I'm going to award myself a lofty 4.5/10.
Definitely a significant improvement.
I was especially glad the evening went well as I had been delivered a hammer blow earlier on in the day as Jim Hobbit phoned to cancel due to illness.
Thankfully he's ok now.
I was worried because I imagined that it would take something extremely serious to force Jim to cancel a show, as he is the most enthusiastic-to-perform comedian I know in the world.
I could imagine a situation whereby a bed gets pushed on stage with a drip attached and a microphone is slowly lowered towards the prone body, before hearing the immortal opening line "Walk like a wee pigeon!".

Today in Edinburgh "The Santa Run" is taking place.
It's ostensibly for charidee and involves about 2000 people dressed in full Santa gear running along Princes Street Gardens.
I was thinking; this must be very confusing to a 3 year old child who maintains the belief that there is only one Santa Claus.
How would you address this issue as a parent?
I had a thought that you could pretend that the event is a dramatic re-enactment of Santa's pre-Xmas wank.
You could say that the thousands of Santas represent the sperm of the one, true Santa.
It's plausible to believe that Santa may well have a big annual ceremonial wank before Xmas, as I can imagine it must be highly stressful organising presents for all the children of the world.
This could be construed as quite a sordid event, but in making a bit of pageantry out of it, it can be a fun day out for all the family.
By regaling this tale, you preserve the uniqueness of Santa and keep the magic of Xmas alive.
Maybe change the name from "The Santa Run" to "Santa Empties His Sack"?

There's an interesting tv ad on at the moment in which a rather seedy looking man with a guitar harangues a young man in a pub for receiving "knock off DVDs" and other such contraband.
This revelation causes the young man to lose his girlfriend, and the pub regulars join in with the seedy guitarist's song.
Now I may be wrong, but I reckon if I went into a pub in a fairly rough area of Edinburgh, and began playing a guitar and singing abusively at people who had accepted knock-off DVDS...
well, I predict I'd be shortly leaving the pub gingerly with the guitar forcibly shoved up my arse.

England have got a proper good manager.
The days of under-achievement could be at an end.
I hope he does well. I've always liked Mr Capello.
In years to come, Scottish fans will probably look fondly back on the Steve McClaren era, as the last great English comedy manager.
Maybe England are worth a bet to win the 2010 World Cup?
I'd be interested to see the odds.
I started watching Football Focus today but had to switch it off.
There was a feature on Capello.
They used the Godfather theme, mixed up with some mafia cliches...then Garth Crook appeared to deliver a stream of his trademark over-earnest bollocks.
That was enough for me!