Ok, I'm not really one to blow my own trumpet...oh, come on, that's true...! When I die on my arse I tell it like it is...I ain't hiding nothing and am not delusional...but hey, I really ROCKED at The Stand this week...up there with my best ever gigs...!
There...I've said it now...and have obviously cursed upcoming gigs with my nauseatingly self-congratulory tribute...
It goes against my normal approach, but you know, "it's better to live a day as a Tiger than live a thousand years as a sheep", as the comedians in Tibet say.
My good mood was slightly punctured the next day as I skillfully locked myself out...then realised that since I had a new lock fitted, no-one else had a spare key..and I had to break a window to get in.
What a twat!
I was walking down Lothian Road today and noticed that the lap dancing establishment "Bottoms Up" had changed its name to "Big Daddy O's".
It still seemed to be operating as a Lap Dancing bar from what I could gather.
I immediately thought it would be amusing if a customer in the bar asked for a private dance, then was startled to see a 25 stone middle aged male wrestler in a white leotard and a spangly union jack top hat, appear from behind the curtain, dance around erotically then perform a famous Big Daddy "splash" manoeuvre on the unsuspecting punter by jumping in the air and landing on him on his stomach.
one-ahhh two-ahhh three-ahhh
And the winner by a submission is Mums and Dads favourite
"B-i-i-i-i-g D-a-a-d-d-y!!!!!"...
That would be hilarious...
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