recent photo of me
I received two postcards today.
One had a drawing of a fried egg on it and the other had a drawing of a pirate on it.
The former was had the statement "You are a fried egg!" inscribed on it, whilst the latter informed me "You are not a pirate".
I take these allegations very seriously and have already been in touch with my lawyers to ascertain whether legal action would be appropriate in one or both allegations.
The signaturees to these missives are "Pirate Alice and the Pirate Hinds".
Alice has already consistently demonstrated her "pirate denial" philosophy throughout my recent holiday in Portugal.
I should point out that I will shortly be in Spain at a Pirate Convention, and have been asked to deliver a keynote address to the delegates.
This continuing questioning of my pirate status is very damaging and could easily have an adverse effect on my future earnings and career prospects.
Also, the accusation that I am a fried egg is clearly ludicrous and will be laughed out of court at the earliest opportunity.
While walking in the Pentlands yesterday I passed someone going up the hills on a unicycle.
That's something you don't see every day.
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